Mountains has its roots back when I travelled New Zealands’ Wilderness in 2014 by myself. I got kicked out of „home“ 2014 for speaking my Truth about my Fathers Violence and survived in shared Flats with Musicians, being angry, drunk and in love a lot. I somehow finished School and then I really wanted to get as far away as possible – so I travelled to New Zealand. On an Alpaca Farm I wrote down „I have Mountains growing inside of me, I’m gonna climb them all“ in my Notebook as I realized in the solitude of the hills of New Zealand, there would appear a ton of work I’d have to go through with myself. Relationships, Friendships, Family, Eating, Sleeping – somehow everything was hard for me and I now know, that is what Trauma does to you. So I doodled all these different Mountains I wanted to climb one day, to make peace with the world that had mistreated me with its shitty destiny and left me as an orphan. So that was the start of my healing, me alone in the wilderness.
In 2019, when my Producer, Colleague, Friend and Lover and I broke up in Berlin, I had depressed Episodes. I went through all my old Notebooks, trying to reconnect with myself after I felt I had lost myself completely in that toxic Relationship I was so obsessed about. I searched for myself in my words and somehow I recycled a lot of my old Notebook-Pages in new Songs. The Mountains infront of me now, were about finding Peace, about Forgiving and about moving on. So I used my Wilderness-Words and the Metaphor of Mountain-Climbing for this story. There was this one day, when my Ex and I had a walk through Neukölln, it was windy, we shared some cigarettes and I set some boundaries and we hugged in the end. For the first time I walked away and I didn’t look back this time. I knew that this was the start of healing and after a few Relapses and Falls, I became a really good Mountainclimber.

listen on